If a few years ago, someone told me I'd be in South Korea (ever in my life), I'd have laughed. That's not me, I was a girl with a plan, and a map, destined to follow that ideal of happiness til the end. Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted that book made story line, boy meets girl, girl loves boy, boy and girl gets married and have other boys and girls...lol that was me... an old fashion romantic.
I think back on the many obstacles and encouragements that brought me to Gwangju and I realize that this is my BAM! A BAM that my self-determined life was not suppose to include. But, somehow, luckily I had the seed planted in my head.
My parents really didn't believe that I would follow through and leave Canada. When I first started looking for positions, they gave many non-committal nods and mmm-hmms whenever I brought the subject up. For some time they didn't even seemed bothered. As an adult I've never even left North America before!
My parents gave the same reaction when Jo and I decided at 19 years old we were going to move to downtown, Toronto. Only when we finally signed the lease, did they seem to settle on a reaction of surprise and maybe a little hurt. Although we lived with rats, cockroaches (I didn't touch that kitchen, ever) and drug addicts, we gritted out teeth until we could afford a nicer place. That was my mini BAM!
So, when the 1 of 2 job offers finally came in one month after my decision to move to South Korea, my parents were a bit shocked when I told them I was in fact leaving. For the next little bit, my mom doted on me (rare occurrences, reserved for weddings and leaving the country) and we went on endless shopping trips trying to prepare me for my "survival" of South Korea...LOL Neither of us knew too much about the country I was headed to.
People have to understand that this isn't something 'Jannies' does. I'm a family person, have been since I graduated from high school and decided to stop being a horrible person to my family. Although, my family and I have had our shares of ups and downs, I love them (the fat, ugly, short, tall and dumb ones :p kidding). I love the family dinners (even if I have to convince and persuade some attendees) and game nights! We got into this ritual a little late because of the multiple jobs my parents held down to support us, when we were young. Some families dread weekly outings, but sitting at a round table with a lazy susy in the middle makes my weekends. What I'm trying to say is that I didn't think my mom thought I would ever leave her, not even after the wedding.
But, after so many years of people telling me I just need to get away to grow and "find myself" and the reality of maybe I do have some things to work out on my own. I took the jump (sorry for the endless list of cliches here)! It was one of the best decisions of my life, I may regrets incidents, but I will never regret this experience. I've made amazing friends (some whom my heart will break when parting), planned many events and traveled far into Asia and deep into bat caves. Places, I've only dreamed of going to when I was old and maybe finally have some money ^_^
I have many insecurities and complexes, but I know me better now. I'm stronger and more resilient... I want to come home and connect with my friends who are still rooting for me. Then, who knows... maybe I can convince my mom I belong in Thailand or South America!
6 months til end of contract...
2 months of traveling...
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