Gwangju Bucket List Checked!

This past weekend, just 3 weeks left until I leave South Korea, I finally climbed Mudeung Mountain. It is the 1187 meters tall mountain in Gwangju, a city I have called home for more than 2 years now. Upon arriving in 2011 I was sure that within months I would have given it a shot, but like in Toronto, I let what's close fall to the sidelines.

So with my imminent departure creeping up, and after 3 failed weekend attempts because of flaky companions -_- I saw an opportunity for it while in Daejeon and cut my Chuseok vacation short and headed back to Gwang Ju. Waking up at 6am is hard, no matter what, but definitely harder when you know there is a mountain to climb. Lol

I grew up in the Greater Toronto Area, it's safe to say we don't really have much nature let alone mountains to climb. So, I have taken advantage of this in Korea and have done a few trails in other cities. I have to say,  nature being allowed to coexist within metropolitan cities, is something I will really miss about Korea.

So 6am wake up, 6:45 bus time, 720 meet up and 8am the hike begins. The first hour was the most difficult for me, even though I have been working on my cardio this past half a year, the outdoors has always kicked my ass due to a narrow bronchi tube and an array of allergies. So as my two companions kept my slower pace and the breathing got harder I had fleeting (I said fleeting) moments when I thought about not going to the top. Lol I know there are people out there reading this going :o because it seems like a piece of cake for them or they have climbed their share of higher and trickier trails. For me, it wasn't about anyone else, but me.

After about an hour, the burn in my chest started to fade and feel natural. I was far enough into it that I wouldn't let myself back away now, so I kept going. The weather was fantastic in the early part of the hike, the sun way still rising and the air still chilly. As it reached closer to noon, the sun started to get to me and my friends.

We stopped right before the peak at the ranger station and munched on some snacks, while a friendly ranger with great English chatted with us about the mountain. He actually headed up after we reached the top and offered to take a few photos for us ^_^ I love nice strangers!!! (Another thing I'll miss about Korea)

It wasn't a long time until we reached the top, but with the sun shining bright and feeling the burn, I took my time, and some photos.

When I joined my friends at the top, they were settled in quite comfortable on top of rocks at the side of the mountain lol We took our time and many photos =)

BAM done!

First real smile Kiel "claps hands"

The hike back down didn't render any photos because we the took the path less traveled... by this we mean we made out own with sticks through grass fields. LOL It wasn't Kiel's first rodeo! We took a slower pace and chatted on the way down. Although we didn't get to eat at the vegetarian buffet, we found some pretty good seafood pancakes, vegetarian bibimbap and Mudeung Mountain makgeoli (Rice wine)!

 First time i had green-colored seafood pancake (I told myself it made this a healthier version lol)

 YUM, fresh and delicious!

Mudeung Mountain Makgeoli

Face, neck, chest and shoulders= Burnt

Although i was burnt (my bad), achy and tired for the next few days, I loved the experience and company!

 

Walking down memory lane...

Whether it is ripping a spine off another workbook and dividing the work sheets into lessons, or drawing a big fat circle to correct the homework, I will miss the big and small things about teaching.

Growing up, even with my mothering personality, I never dreamed about being a teacher. As an example myself, I knew how shitty some kids can be. But, my urge to travel and explore Korea, and run from my demons had me transplanted myself to Gwangju, South Korea as an English teacher.

I knew I would be an organized teacher, but could I be a good teacher? I didn't have the slightest idea what that would entail. With no further clues or answers, I was thrown into my first day on the job with less than 2 hours of sleep and within 12 hours of arriving in Gwangju. I was scared the kids wouldn't like me, or even worse they wouldn't listen or learn anything from me.

Of the few I remember meeting on day 1 (which isn't many) I saw the cuteness and curiosity that I would eventually come to love.

The questions that would become a pattern in Korea were asked. "What is your name?" (Not that many of them bothered to call me anything but Jeni or Teacher) "How old are you?" The answer is always met with gasps of shock. "Where are you from?" and "Are you married?" Which was also followed by where is your baby... UHHHH lol

Safe to say, the first day went by fast!!!

From that day on, I was on my own. I made several mistakes early on, big and small. For about a month, I was still forgetting student's names.

Now, after more than 2 years here, I know the hagwon back and front, lol even under the carpet. I can run my classes and talk to my students about their family and lives with ease. I can use the computers (all operating in Korean) with my eyes closed.

I will miss the familiarity and comfort of walking into these hallways and sitting on the pink fleece blanket on my chair. I will miss the moments the students burst into my office with a slew of words, that may or may not form a sentence, but I understand them. lol I will think about their smiling faces or somber ones while they tell me their stories, or that they are hungry...

Over the last two years, I've become a teacher without the need of certification. Although I don't plan on being a teacher in Canada, I do plan on taking my experiences and what I've learned from this journey with me.

                                                      On to the next adventure!!!

                                               My favorite middle school class for a long time!

                   Before these ones went into middle school =) and became emotional all the time lol

                                                                Halloween Party 2011

                                                        Only 3 of them are left now <3

                                                                                <3

                                                           Speech and Singing Contest

                                                                 Spot Superman!!!

                      She brought in a snow ball and thought it would keep until her class ended ^_^

                                      It's been an awesome 9 months getting to know this one!

                                         With Erin before she moved to another part of town :(

                                                                  Angel sleeping...

                                         Amy, my favorite twin!!! Lol she reminds me of me =)

                                                         Celebrating Canada's Day!

                                                        Michelle n Susie! Future Singers =)

                                                                      Heh heh heh

                                                                Krystal before she left...

                                                                       Cutie Liam!!!

Cinderella

"Cinderella are you really that happy? 

Cinderella are you really that lucky? 

I wanna know if your life's like you dreamed."

I have always spoken out against the messages set out in Disney stories that make women or children believe  about Prince Charmings out in the world saving the damsels in distress. But, I did believe that, I believed that I was the Cinderella with a tougher exterior and harder happy ending to obtain. I fought and I fought for my happy ending because I thought that it will eventually be just that. How wrong was I... (not necessarily a bad thing)

Growing up with my family and the complexes within were frustrating and this is not saying I don't love my family for all our goods and bad. But, I have always over compensated with my friends and family so I would prove myself worthy. I never gave up because I am fiercely loyal and don't believe that things won't work out if I put everything I have into it.

Put my complex and me being a hopeless romantic together and it clarifies the last 10 years of my life. I loved my ex-husband, with a push of emotional so strong I would have done anything for him. I love the only way I feel I can love... without limits. I didn't know when to walk away and stop the pain for both of us. So I ran to chase my dream in name, but really to make a decision I couldn't make because I wasn't strong enough to...

Coming to Korea as a result of this running has changed my life. When I arrived here, I was 25 years old and felt like I was a grandmother... wise and experienced. It was the opposite...

I was insecure, emotionally unstable, broken and lost...

It has been almost two years since I stoically stepped out of the Korean airport and followed my instructions to my new home. I didn't let myself miss my family for one full year because I wouldn't be able to take it. I met people and kept myself to a small group of people for the first 6 months. During those 6 months I made a lot of unhealthy decisions, things that I will look back on a feel shameful but I don't regret that time because it was the low before my high...

My ex-husband and I are now cordial with each other and I do hope one day we will be able to freely care for each other as friends. The idea of choosing not to care for this man after loving him for so long and knowing him so well doesn't make sense to me. That is a work in progress.

"We're not broken, just bent. We can learn to love again."

In the past two years I have took a lot of time to myself, although most of my time is spent cramming appointments and hang outs with my friends here, I have done a lot of reflecting and challenging with myself. I did things that were outside of my comfort zone and got passed them whether successfully or embarrassingly.

I remember one of my first obstacles in Korea was eating by myself in a restaurant... because of being bullied in middle school I have always felt uncomfortable when I feel like I stand out. Now everyday I don't have time to cook or my work out is longer than normal, I go to Han Sot (Korean lunch box/ fast food) and order something with brown rice. I sit there with my ebook (phones and ebooks are still my defense mechanisms) and hang out without thinking twice about it. It hasn't even crossed my mind to hesitate.

I am getting more and more comfortable in my own skin. One of my good friends and I had a conversation where he feels like the people I gravitated towards, were the kind that needed guidance and therefore less likely to leave me. It hit like a stone when he said this. I have always had problems believing when my ex husband or good friends tell me I'm a good person or any compliments. Finally after a lot of self searching (cliche sounding... I know) and redefining myself I am okay with myself. I take it in when people take a moment out of their day to tell me they appreciate me or think I'm cool. It feels great to not doubt myself... I have always been good at reading people and I should trust my instincts.

One of my good friends commented that he feels like I have been more selective with my friends as of late. I realized that I have because I no longer feel the need to please everyone... My friends are amazing people and make me want to do amazing things.

Honestly... it feels good to believe that someone cares about me just because I'm me and not because of what I have to offer. Maybe a bit too honest lol

I am okay... I am divorced and I am truly okay. I am me.

5 weeks in...

So it has been 5 weeks since I started my workout regime to get back into the best shape of my life... there are many reasons for this decision. Among them, I want to be healthy and the ability to choose to do anything without physical restrictions. I feel that there are already too many barriers blocking me from happiness, why sell myself short. This is my personal goal... not anyone else's.

Second, I need to believe in what I do. Athletics Supporters has become a huge passion of mine that I will be calling my future, with that I need to align myself with my passions. I love working out and doing yoga, I want to hand my life over to exploring the possibilities.

Lastly, I love food, and there's nothing that will stop me from cooking and eating anything I love or crave. But, in order to stay healthy I need a good balance, and I have found that. I workout and push myself during the week, and on the weekends I do what I want, I go dancing, eating, drinking or nothing. This works for me, and although I have many pro friends who would offer me advice, this one works for me and my personality, so I'm sticking with it.

Status update: as of this morning I have officially lost 6 pounds, almost half of what I set off to lose. But, that's not important, its that I feel good. I'm not always tired and sore after each sporadic work out. I feel the strength in my core, my legs and my arms. I'm not the strongest or tallest, BUT I'm me and I'm okay with that!

I have another 10 weeks to go, and after that will come a personal program that involves everything I enjoy doing: Yoga, Running, Rock Climbing... and Tennis =)

Tip: It takes 3 weeks to form a habit, but it took my own decision to change my life.

4 months to go for my last summer in Korea... LEGGO!

T minus 1 day... @ 27

Just had an amazing weekend with a volleyball fundraiser (Athletics Supporters raised over $1000 for women shelters in Gwangju), a great birthday party, and a nice Sunday freezing my ass off watching Alex play football.

The fundraiser started off rocky with rain and overcast the whole duration of our event and a runaway box of cameras and event documents forgotten in a taxi. OKAY!!! Plan B, move all volleyball stands and nets indoor (cue the guys) while standing on the curb waiting, in case the cabbie comes back and reprinting all the documents.

The tournament went well and the final round was intense and exciting. We had conventional and non conventional techniques on the court and it was great cheering from the sidelines. I have amazing friends who always come out, even when its not their forte.

After the games all wrapped up and peeps headed home I started to allow myself to panic a little about my cameras. But, after a few hours I tracked down my box, thanks to some good friends. Yay community spirits! I would have been devastated if I lost my Nikon D5100...  

My birthday party was preceded by a skype dance and wine party with some of my girl friends ^_^ My friends are weirdos and SO am I lol The downtown part was exactly what I wanted, just my closest friends eating, drinking (AYCD), dancing and lifting people up. The best part was the cake fight of course... lol revenge will be sweet when it's my friend's birthday in 2 months lol

It was an early night because I was exhausted from the tournament, but Sunday turned out to be a nice day outside at Chonnam University. I haven't taken my camera out for a while, but after almost losing it I am definitely appreciating it more. Back to basics...

The next few months are jam packed with things to check off before heading on my travels and then Canada. It's funny how most of my homesickness is happening in the last 6 months of my journey to Korea. I officially signed my divorce papers a few weeks ago and I think the timing was finally right. It was hard, but necessary. But, on to bigger things... a lot of decisions to make for 2014, but I'm sure my family and friends would accept what I want to do =) 27 Leggo!

New year... new program!

This new plan may or may not have anything to do with my upcoming birthday. It definitely has to do with my last 6 months of involvement with Athletics Supporters, an organization that hosts sporting and community events for causes. I’m the event planner and it has been an amazing ride so far. There is so much more to come and it has inspired me to reset my health goals.

Today is my first day back on the P90 program I did 3 years ago. I lost over 30 pounds I gained from a major car accident. After 135 days on the program, I was the most fit I have ever been since high school. It was hard starting because of my previous back injuries, but as the program went on it made me stronger.

Although I’ve been going to the gym “regularly” and doing yoga for the last 3 years I definitely need to challenge myself a bit more. This is necessary since I love food THAT much.

I will pair the program with a healthy eating plan for the next 90 days. Then, after that hopefully I can move on to more regular long-term exercises. I want to run a race on June 2^nd for breast cancer in Gwangju, so I’m going to aim high and shoot.

I will document my progress on this blog for the next 3 months =) Leave tips of comments if you can!

6 months and counting down...

If a few years ago, someone told me I'd be in South Korea (ever in my life), I'd have laughed. That's not me, I was a girl with a plan, and a map, destined to follow that ideal of happiness til the end. Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted that book made story line, boy meets girl, girl loves boy, boy and girl gets married and have other boys and girls...lol that was me... an old fashion romantic.

I think back on the many obstacles and encouragements that brought me to Gwangju and I realize that this is my BAM! A BAM that my self-determined life was not suppose to include. But, somehow, luckily I had the seed planted in my head.

My parents really didn't believe that I would follow through and leave Canada. When I first started looking for positions, they gave many non-committal nods and mmm-hmms whenever I brought the subject up. For some time they didn't even seemed bothered. As an adult I've never even left North America before!

My parents gave the same reaction when Jo and I decided at 19 years old we were going to move to downtown, Toronto. Only when we finally signed the lease, did they seem to settle on a reaction of surprise and maybe a little hurt. Although we lived with rats, cockroaches (I didn't touch that kitchen, ever) and drug addicts, we gritted out teeth until we could afford a nicer place. That was my mini BAM!

So, when the 1 of 2 job offers finally came in one month after my decision to move to South Korea, my parents were a bit shocked when I told them I was in fact leaving. For the next little bit, my mom doted on me (rare occurrences, reserved for weddings and leaving the country)  and we went on endless shopping trips trying to prepare me for my "survival" of South Korea...LOL Neither of us knew too much about the country I was headed to.

People have to understand that this isn't something 'Jannies' does. I'm a family person, have been since I graduated from high school and decided to stop being a horrible person to my family. Although, my family and I have had our shares of ups and downs, I love them (the fat, ugly, short, tall and dumb ones :p kidding). I love the family dinners (even if I have to convince and persuade some attendees) and game nights! We got into this ritual a little late because of the multiple jobs my parents held down to support us, when we were young. Some families dread weekly outings, but sitting at a round table with a lazy susy in the middle makes my weekends. What I'm trying to say is that I didn't think my mom thought I would ever leave her, not even after the wedding.

But, after so many years of people telling me I just need to get away to grow and "find myself" and the reality of maybe I do have some things to work out on my own. I took the jump (sorry for the endless list of cliches here)! It was one of the best decisions of my life, I may regrets incidents, but I will never regret this experience. I've made amazing friends (some whom my heart will break when parting), planned many events and traveled far into Asia and deep into bat caves. Places, I've only dreamed of going to when I was old and maybe finally have some money ^_^

I have many insecurities and complexes, but I know me better now. I'm stronger and more resilient... I want to come home and connect with my friends who are still rooting for me. Then, who knows... maybe I can convince my mom I belong in Thailand or South America!

6 months til end of contract...
2 months of traveling...
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